One of the things that really makes weddings fun is getting to share your day with your closest friends and family.
One of the things that really makes wedding planning NOT fun is deciding who your closest friends and family are.
Time and time again, when I meet with couples and talk about how the planning is going, the thing that constantly brings the most stress is the guest list. Whether it’s the addresses, narrowing it down, or licking and stamping the envelopes, the guest process seems to be one of the more stressful parts.
Erika & Phil took a slightly different approach when it came to planning their wedding. They only invited immediate family. 
Thats right, the 11 people you see in that photo are all that were there to witness their vows.
(Actually, myself and super cool wedding videographer Vanessa McKellar were also witnesses, but you get the point.)
Phil’s comment to me was he “didn’t want to be introduced to anyone on his wedding day”. Not a bad way of looking at it. Erika told me they wanted a smaller wedding, but as they started coming up with the guest list it kept getting bigger and bigger til they decided there was only one way of doing it. Just family. I have photographed weddings with hundreds of guests and a wedding with less than a dozen guests. There is no right or wrong way to do it. My advice to you is invite who you want.
It’s your wedding.
If you only want 50 people there, invite 50 people.
Trust me, your friends and acquaintances that do not get invited will not stop being your friends. They may be confused at first. But if they are truly your friends, then they will understand. They want you to be happy. If having 50 people at your wedding makes you happy, then they will support you.
Side Note: You may end up getting less gifts this way, but we’ll assume you’re OK with that.
If you want to see more images from Erika & Phil’s September 9, 2009 wedding click here.
I’ll give you one more shot to entice you click that link.
3 comments
I totally agree! That seems to be the one thing that I always hear brides stressing about! I love the grooms idea of not wanting to be introduced to anyone at your wedding…I love it! GREAT idea!
Great post, Alex!
Thanks for posting this, Alex. The way we saw it, exchanging vows would be one of the most intimate and special moments of our entire lives (and it was). Having only family with us made the love and joy *tangible* and it allowed us to spend quality, memorable, relaxed time with every person who was there to celebrate with us. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’m especially grateful that *you* were there to capture such beautiful images that allowed us to share the day with all the people who wish they could have been there, but like you said, are still our friends even though they weren’t invited.
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