One of my favorite parts of weddings is seeing the connection that brides & grooms have with their parents. I love being able to capture the expression and little moments that they have with each other throughout the day. I’ll be honest, with 3-6 bridesmaids, 3-6 groomsmen and all your “extra” friends, it’s very easy for parents to get pushed to the side on your wedding day. That’s why I LOVE when I see a bride who seems able to juggle all of these dynamics on her wedding day. From our first meeting, I felt like Jessica & her mom “clicked” when it came to her wedding. I thought it would be fun to hear what the planning process was like from Jessica’s mom’s point of view.
(One last note: I promise I didn’t ask her to rave about my photos, but I’m glad she did.)
Sept. 25, 2010 turned out to be one of the happiest days of my life. That is the day my first born child and precious daughter joined her life in marriage to my new son-in-law. My daughter and I planned her wedding day completely in less than 6 months. These were the sweetest 6 months we have ever spent together and I think forever marked a turning point in our relationship from not only mother and daughter, but also best friends. I will tell you, there were moments of stress and disagreement. But in the end, no matter how I felt, I just had to constantly remind myself that this was her day, not mine. This was all about her. Times have changed so much since I got married. I will never forget when she came to me and said she wasn’t walking down the aisle to “Here Comes the Bride”. I was in complete shock, I couldn’t believe it. How in the world do you not walk down the aisle to that song? How would anyone know when the bride was coming and when they should stand? I just could not even fathom this idea. But, this was her day, not mine. I had 6 months to get used to it and by the end, I was completely ok with it and it turned out perfectly. But then she came to me and said she was going to see her groom before the ceremony so we could take photographs before the wedding. What? No way! This can not happen! It’s bad luck! Again, I could not fathom this and again, I relented and it turned out perfectly and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. It saved so much time and our guests weren’t kept waiting at the reception. Times have changed since we were getting married. I would just encourage all mothers who are planning a wedding with their daughter, to keep an open mind. And above all remember, this day is all about her, even if we are paying the bill, this is her day.
Planning a wedding will definitely have its stressful moments. They are just unavoidable. But we eliminated as much stress as we could by pretty much leaving everybody else and their opinions out of it. Grandparents, fathers, siblings, cousins, friends, they all have their own opinions and want to share. Really, it doesn’t matter what they think anyway, so why stress for one minute trying to make them happy. This day is all about her.
Another thing I will say moms is when the wedding day comes, just enjoy the day. Do not designate yourself to do absolutely anything other than cleanup after the whole thing is over with. This is such a special day that you will never ever have again. Delegate, delegate, delegate and do nothing yourself. Don’t even bring a camera with you. Which brings me to the absolute, without a doubt, most important thing you will need for this day… the photographer. If you only splurge on one single thing for the whole wedding, it needs to be this. Moms, again, keep an open mind. I wasn’t convinced of this either in the beginning, but my daughter felt strongly about this from day one. She had her photographer (AlexM) picked out before she was ever engagaged. I was, lets just say, a little skeptical. I mean, everybody at the wedding will have camera phones right? Why do I need a photographer? That is, until I met Alex and saw some of his work. In a matter of minutes I was as convinced as she was about it and that was that. The best investment without a doubt. I promise, you won’t regret it.
Also, as I look back, I just must share this. I tortured myself for weeks over plastic or real dishes. I wanted real everything, but daughter wanted plastic. This turned out to be one of the best decisions we made for that day. It is so much easier and less stressful. Plastic all the way, and it is just as beautiful.
Our wedding was almost 5 months ago. I miss it. I want to do it again, but I just can’t. Thank goodness I have all of my beautiful pictures from that day so I can relive it over and over again for many years to come.
Moms and daughters, as your planning your big day, have fun, don’t stress too much and just enjoy this time. Your big day will be here and gone before you know it. And you know what comes next moms……. grandchildren! I know I can’t wait. I hope your day will be as special as ours was :)
