It’s always an honor when I’m asked to document someone’s wedding day.  But for some reason, when there are only 10-12 people attending… it turns into a super honor.  That’s how I felt all day long at Leah & Jordan’s Lake Tyler Petroleum Club wedding.

I LOVE this next photo.  It may be my favorite of the day.

What if you could only have 12 people sit and watch you get married?
Could you do it?
Would you want to?

There are so many misconceptions about what having a small wedding or ceremony might mean for your day.  Leah & Jordan proved that if you decide to have a small ceremony…. you can still have just as much fun. :)

You can still get your toe nail painted as your something blue.

You can still get photos laughing with your bridesmaids.

You can still have La Tee Da Flowers CRUSH your bouquet & arrangements.

You can still have your grandfather perform the ceremony with his super old manuscript.

You can still get yummy and delicious cakes from Designs by D’Anne.

You still get to walk down the aisle.

You can still have your grandmother tell your grandfather “Take a picture! Take a picture!”

You can still have a pretty great ceremony that ends with man & wife.

You can still take photos of the two of you looking gorgeous.

You can still have awkward photos of you saying “I once caught a fish this big.”

You can still get a killer ring shot on the book your grandfather has used to perform wedding ceremonies for over 50 years.

Leah & Jordan didn’t choose a smaller ceremony because they didn’t have any friends.
(They just finished med school and residency. They actually have like a billion friends.)

They didn’t choose a smaller ceremony because they don’t like people.

They didn’t choose a smaller ceremony because they could not afford a bigger one.
(Remember, they are doctors.  Wait… They just FINISHED med school.  So yeah… never mind.  Still broke.)

They chose it because it was a good fit for them.

That is the takeaway.  Plan your wedding how YOU want your day to go.  If you want 500 people to watch you get married.  Fine.  Invite 800 guests.
IF you want 12, then invite 12.

Weddings have become a circus, and I don’t think they were ever intended to be that.

So my advice to you guys is this… The next time you get in an argument over a planning detail.  Don’t ask yourself “Do we really need 12 elephants or will 6 be enough?”

That’s not the question.  The question is…

Do we want any elephants at all?

Right after I photographed their wedding, I mentioned that I had never seen a groom be more tenter towards his bride.  1 year later, Tim still holds the title belt.  I have such great memories of their wedding at Stone Oak Ranch and I KNEW they would be the perfect couple to check in on after their first year of marriage.  Enjoy.

What do you miss most about the single life?
Hahah, actually not a lot. Little things here and there; alone time, a different kind of freedom… But really we don’t miss it.

Give us your best cheapo/fun married date idea.
Build a fort in your living room, have breakfast for dinner, and watch a good movie (Tim always picks). We are the simple, stay home kinda people.
Getting ice cream and driving around looking at all the nice houses in our neighborhood and dreaming about one day…

What have you liked most about your first year being married?
Waking up together, supporting one another, always having “my person” I can count on, figuring things out together, celebrating together,praying together. We like that we are forever together.

Tim: What have you discovered about Beth this year that you didn’t realize before?
How gracious she is and how she is able to forgive me on my off days.
Beth: What is one thing super gross thing about Tim that you learned now that you are married to him?
I wish I had something truly appalling but Tim is a lot of things but gross isn’t one… Not for a good story here but it makes living together much more pleasant.

What have you fought about most and why?
Money! Because we both are independent and tend to want to control things in our own way. We have really had to work to understand each other and be on the same team when it comes to our finances and budgeting.

What was the biggest thing you were nervous about? How has it turned out?
Tim: I was anxious about the weight of responsibility and caring for my wife. It’s been a blessing to overcome selfishness and to learn (the beginning of) how to serve her and trust God as he leads us.
Beth: The first year being the hardest year of your life. It’s hasn’t been the simpliest year of life but we have really fought to have fun, give grace, forgive, and make memories together. We know more things will come but we have genuinely loved our first year of marriage.

What do you wish someone had told you before you were married?
We honestly have a phenomenal community and they did well to prepare us. I will say one thing that someone did say that I wish I heard more was that every marriage is different and part of the fun is learning and failing together to make it the best it can be.

Kayla & David were married at St. Peter & Paul Catholic Church last August.  (With a killer reception at Centaur Arabian Farms in Flint, TX.)  So now that they are total pros at being husband and wife I thought it would be fun to hear form them on what their first year of marriage was like.

1. What do you miss most about the single life?
What I miss most about single life is being able to sprawl out in bed.. That being said, we just bought a king mattress last week…haha.

2. Give us your best cheapo/fun married date idea.
Cheapo fun married date idea: garage saleing and thrift store exploring is one of our favorite pastimes, David is the bargainer and I am the treasure hunter. We always have a good time and laugh with odd things we see at garage sales.

3. What have you liked most about your first year being married?
The looks on peoples faces when they find out I’m married.. Their reaction is mostly..”aren’t you like 12?!” Haha! It happens, I’ll be really smokin’ when I’m 60 and look 45 ;) but my most favorite part of our first year of marriage is the companionship that you feel with your person. Nothing beats the feeling of someone who has chosen and is still choosing to be yours everyday.

4.What’s been the hardest part about being married?
I would say the hardest part about being married right now is making future decisions such as when should we have kids?, should we buy a house?, should we rent?, where should we go?, which insurance plan is best for us?, what is a mortgage?  (Okay I asked that one)… What we’ve learned so far is don’t try to go it all alone, our parents have been our biggest supports and counselors. We don’t have all the answers and probably never will, but we are up to the adventure of figuring it out!

5. What have you fought about most and why?
What we fight most about with me is my phone habit. (Guilty).. What we fight most about with David is the he refuses to use the towel rack in our bathroom and will hang his used towel over the bathroom door so the door isn’t able to be shut, and I am not the tallest so it is difficult for me to get it down so I am able to close the bathroom door, also he is a nail picker..eww.

6.  What was the biggest thing you were nervous about? How has it turned out?
The biggest thing I was nervous about was the expectancy to be a “good wife” to cook dinner, have the house spotless, be dressed and picture perfect everyday for my husband and being able to maintain that. The reality is that I am not perfect and David realizes that he also realizes he is not perfect and this isn’t the Stepford Wives. I do however attempt to do these things for him because of course as his wife his happiness is extremely important to me, but also in turn he does things for me and helps around the house and cooks dinner and still calls me beautiful when I could pass for a gremlin. Letting go of that stereotype for me and figuring out what works best for us has really helped our relationship.

7. What do you wish someone had told you before you were married?
Your wedding will not turn out the way you imagined, things will go wrong: there will be a gathering at the church before your wedding and the floors will be covered is smashed brownies and you’ll walk out to see your dad and uncle on their hands and knees scrubbing the floor, you will get lost on the way to your own reception with no cell phone service, plan on not eating at the reception, your first dance song will get deleted off your iPod, and the forks you got personalized for the big day will go missing, but you can also count on the moments you never imagined happening such as: spontaneous bride and groom karaoke with the band to Don’t Stop Believing, you can count on a spontaneous break-dance dance off with your bridesmaid, husband, and usher so intense the usher will rip his pants (right in the crack..), and you also count on the band playing Miley Cyrus and all the guest on the dance floor surrounding you with a cup in the air and a smile on their face and singing at the top of their lungs, you can count on incredible photo booth pictures because your friends are awesomely weird like that.  oh and so is your photographer ;)) you can count on your bridesmaids and groomsman and family to go above and beyond their call to make your day one to remember, and most importantly you can count on going home with your newly wed spouse to start your life.

Thank you two for opening up to us.  Kayla you were super sweet to share your struggles.

And David…. come on man, use a towel rack, we are not animals.

PS. If you can’t get enough of these two, check out their super fun hot air balloon engagement session.

OK. It’s time again for that killer blog series: My Favorite Part of A Wedding.

One of the reasons I love shooting weddings so much is because of all the relationships involved. The longer you have known those people, the deeper the interactions with them will be on your wedding day. That’s part of why I am a sucker for the Father-Daughter dance. I know, I know. Typically, the bride and groom sharing their FIRST dance together as husband and wife is supposed to be the headliner. But let me tell you a little secret: that’s not the dance to watch.

A bride & groom’s first dance is just more of what you’ve already seen that day. It’s two people giddy, in love, and just smiling at each other because their happily ever after is just getting started. That’s great. Sunshine, rainbows, unicorns, everybody loves it. But, a good Father-Daughter dance is so much more. It’s 25 years of living and raising a human. There is so much going on just below the surface. I love seeing how they unfold. Sometimes they are full of laughter, and memories, and chatter. Sometimes they are planned out choreography and even though it’s a struggle, you know they had so much fun practicing. And every now and then, you get the full on melt down. Two people just laughing and crying for 3 minutes while they take in what the last quarter of a century was like.

Here are a few of my favorites:

So next time you go to a wedding, don’t just walk over to the punch bowl when they call for the Bride & her Father to share a “special dance.”

Stop what you are doing.
Soak it in.
Be present.

It’s not just 3 minutes of swaying to “I Loved Her First.”

It’s softball practices, and dance recitals, and driving lessons, and prom dresses, and butterfly kisses, and coke dates, and science projects, and Disney movies, and painted toes, and boyfriend breakups, and fishing trips, and tea parties.
It’s knowing that it will never be like it was.

And starting to be OK with that.

But, it’s also knowing that it will never be like it was.

And getting excited about that.

Oh, one last thing about Father-Daughter dances… sometimes they don’t have to be a dance at all.  Because as dads, all we really want, is one last moment with our little girl.

Because you enjoyed this, I know you’ll want to see more in this series. Click here for more words and pretty pictures.

Sometime last year I came up with the idea of photographing couples who have been married 50+ years. I always love anniversary dances at weddings and feel like those are the couples we should be celebrating. It’s like 300 people come to cheer you on when you get married, but for some reason, the longer you are married, the less people celebrate or cheer for it.

(PS: If you know of a couple who has been married for 50 or more years, get in touch, I’ll take their photos.)

I don’t know if I could have picked a better couple to kick off this little series.

Vernon and Gwen were married January 16, 1965. That’s about 50 years and 4 days ago. ;) They were so so sweet and kind. Their relationship has such a security to it. One is not trying to outdo the other. As they tell a story they take turns handing off parts of the conversation to each other like olympians passing a baton. One of the first things that came up was the topic of movies and this was their exchange.

Gwen: “I love Cary Grant. How can you be so funny and look so good?”

(3 second pause.)

Vernon: “There’s only a few of us.”

I was hooked.

As I photographed them they told stories about their journey and what it means to share a life with someone. I felt my marriage getting stronger just by listening to them talk about theirs. I loved watching them flirt like a pair of newly-weds. I loved the little looks she gave him when he was about to cross a line. I loved that Vernon’s office has a photo of the Mona Lisa next to a photo of John Wayne.

At first my plan was to just do a few photos of them, but after about 30 seconds of hanging out with them, I knew I had to film them answering a few questions about marriage and life.

It’s not a LOL Instagram cat.
It’s not a dog riding a skateboard on Youtube.
It’s not even a super funny 21 random facts you didn’t know BuzzFeed list.

It’s just 2 people who have been married 50 years telling you what it takes to make that happen.

They may also give opinions on wedding budgets and saying yes to the dress. ;)

So, if you have 5 minutes to spare, you should watch this video.