Sarah & Caleb were married 1 year ago on July 4th.  They were kind enough to drop some knowledge on what being a newly wed couple is like.  Read on if you want to make your first year of marriage a bit less bumpy.

What do you miss most about the single life?
Scheduling things on my own time. Having more options to do things I used to when I was single, work out, have a girls weekend, spend the weekend at my parents, or simply to go shopping for “wants” without feeling I have to consult with another’s schedule or consider our budget.

What’s your best cheapo/ fun date idea?
A campout. Could be after a long hike, or driving to a really cool location and setting up tent for the night or simply having a picnic with the tent set up for shade, we even set our tent up on the front porch in record low temperatures and spent the night out there – and just to live on the wild side it was a weeknight! Wherever you set up camp, make sure to stay long enough to star gaze and having a fire with s’mores is a MUST! This date can be done all year round, but my favorite time is during the fall.

What has been the best thing about your first year of marriage?
The best thing about the first year of marriage has been coming home to my best friend every night. Having that person to share frustrations with, get angry at, bounce ideas off of, share joys and encouraging each other through life’s ups and downs. Being married is just another example of God’s love for us.

What’s been the hardest part about being married?
The hardest part of being married for me has been a lack of “me time”, so very similar to what I miss most about being single. I lived on my own for 5 years, independent and financially stable. I didn’t need anyone to do anything for me. I could pick up and have a weekend with girlfriends at a bed and breakfast in a fun town, or sleep in until 7:30am (yes, that’s late for me!) Being married, is a give and take, and for all the things my husband and daughter add to my life, I’m happy to give up some of my girls weekends and sleeping late occasionally.

What surprised you the most?
It wasn’t so much that I was surprised by it than it was a huge realization. After a particularly difficult discussion (one of our first since being married) we headed to bed and I recall thinking… “He’s not leaving… I need time to process this conversation…he’s not going home…this is his home… Oh my gosh!” When we’re dating we had the luxury of our own homes. When we had discussed something difficult, there was time and space in between the next time we saw each other… Now that we’re married, it’s a little different. Still learning.

What have you fought about most and why?
Expectations I had about being a wife and mother. I have a wonderful example of what that looks like in my mother. I failed to realize that before she became the awesome mother and wife I witnessed while I was growing up and that I know today, she had to go thorough the first few years of marriage as well- figuring out who she was as a Mrs. and as a mother. I fight with myself about not meeting preconceived expectations which I place upon myself, which in turn effects our communication.

What was the biggest thing you were nervous about? How has it turned out?
A friend of mine just reminded me of one of the things I was nervous about before getting married: making lunches for my husband during the week and planning the week of meals for our family.  It seems so funny now to think about how worried I was, but I wanted to make sure I was taking care of my family and doing a good job of it by the way of cooking meals which I enjoy and keeping a warm, inviting and clean home. My husband and daughter help out so much and even without me asking them to do it. From doing the dishes, to making the beds, vacuuming, helping me cook, washing, drying and folding the clothes, they make being married and family life easy and enjoyable. I feel so blessed!

Do you have any advice for couples who are about to blend a family?
My husband always went on “Dad and daughter dates” before he and I got married. I encouraged them to continue these dates afterwards as well so that they can have one on one time and further their bond without me in the picture.

I am an educator and have seen many of my children from divorced households and the gambit of relationship dynamics pass through my classroom. Remaining positive and complimentary of the child’s parent(s) is essential. Nothing negative should ever be discussed in front of the child/ children.

I read many books about blended families and even books about the specific role in which you are about to take on. Read books about the your children/ stepchildren and the emotions they could experience. (The five Love Languages of Children is also a great book!)

Lastly, the biological parent needs to be sensitive to their spouce’s, the step-parent’s emotions. It is important for the husband and wife to continue to go on dates. The spouse/ stepparent needs to feel validated and a respected part of the family. This can be very tricky. Communication is key and it also requires the spouse (stepparent) to be sensitive and very understanding.

Happy 1 year of marriage guys.  Thanks for opening up and giving us a little peek into your life.

When you get married on the 4th of July and have a family full of service men, you know it’s going to be a great day.  I was giddy that this next image was one of the first I fired off that day.

Sarah & Caleb said their vows at the fantastic Lake Tyler Petroleum Club. (A fantastic venue with lots of options for your wedding day.)

Family, history, legacy.  These are all things that Sarah values.  (It’s part of what attracted her to Caleb.)  Much of her jewelry belonged to her grandparents and her friend even MADE her this frame.  How incredible is that?

Basically every wedding has the same story.  Boy & girl like each other.  Boy & girl get married.  It’s the easiest story to tell, see, and document.

The thing is, sometimes that’s not the most interesting story of the day.

I love getting to know my couples in a way that helps me figure out the part of their story that they value the most.  What’s really important?  Is it the flowers?  Is it the dancing?  Is it the vows?

From my first phone call with Sarah, I was able to pick up on her commitment to Caleb.  But when she spoke of his daughter she spoke with a sense of respect and love that made it very clear:  She is joining both of them in life.  They are becoming a family.  She is aware of the impossible yet very tangible dynamics of becoming a mother.

All throughout the day, I found little moments where Caleb & Sarah gave time, space, and respect for Savannah to soak in the moments.  Not to force the day and union on her like two grown ups in charge.  Instead they welcomed her into their day.  They asked for her to be a part of it.  At times they literally held her hand as she navigated this emotional day.

I love seeing a groom’s reaction to his bride.  The next best thing though is seeing a father look at his baby girl.

Yes please.

Go team America.

Hey you know who La Tee Da is right?  They kinda kick butt at making flowers look fantastic.

I caught Caleb having a little chat with Savannah right before the ceremony.  My heart turned all mushy.  I love it when dads “gets it.” When they realize that no matter how hectic and crazy a moment is, the main thing our kids need is us to connect with them and let them know we are with them.

Then Savannah came out and Caleb went to meet her and walked her down the aisle.  (Because he wanted everyone to tear up a bit.)

Right when Sarah was about to walk out, it hit her.  Sometimes this happens to brides.  And I’ll be honest.  Sometimes it leads to brides just crying all the way down the aisle.  I love everything about these shots.  I love that Sarah is completely overcome with emotion.  She is fully aware of the moment and understands how amazing their story is and that this is happening.

Her father gets it.

Her father knows his daughter enough to know that right now she needs him to look at her and reassure her.  That no matter how hectic and crazy the moment is, the main thing she needs is him to connect with her and let her know he is with her.

Caleb gets it.

He knows his bride so well.  He knows that she is full of emotions and he never once took his eyes off her.  He was locked in, he was steadfast, he was fully present.

When you marry a military man on the 4th of July at the lake, and a boat drives by during your vows with “I’m Proud to be an American” blasting front the speakers, all you do is smile and know you picked the right day.

Sarah’s brother was deployed 2 days before her wedding.  It was a tough break for their families, but it’s also what they do.  They serve.  They answer the call.  They go.

(They also Skype.)

The Fatt Apple makes yummie food.  Need proof?  Look at how happy these kids are.

The rest of the night was filled with people saying wonderful things, lots of dancing, and expositions in the sky.

Thank you two for letting me be a part of your day.  I left with a full heart.

Every time I’m fortunate enough to shoot out at Elmwood Gardens, I love it even more. :)

Calley had all types of shiny pretty things.  Petal’s Florist did a great job and I LOVE that she wore her grandmother’s jewelry.

Calley told me she has been “playing with this jewelry” since she was a little girl.  How awesome is that?  And, how crazy are these screw on earrings.  :)

Calley & William had an amazing First Look.  William kept spinning her around and looking at all the details of her dress.

If you remember their engagement session you know that these two love them some triathlons.  Their ring bearer must be in training because this little man sprinted down the aisle.  Big, long strides.  About a 5 minute mile pace.

As they were finishing up their ceremony it started to drizzle a bit.

Calley actually stopped her vows, turned to the crowd and said, “You all can head inside, we are going to finish up.”  They then shouted back at her, “Keep going!” “We’re fine!” “We are staying!”

That is what every marriage needs.  When the hard times come,

You need a group of friends that will cheer you on.
You need couples who will sit in the rain with you.
You need friends who will say “We are with you through all of it, good and bad.”

When planning your wedding and marriage make sure you have those.  They are super important.
You can’t find them on Pinterest or Style Me Pretty.
The Knot does not have a checkbox that looks like this: [  ] Friends as committed to our marriage as we are.

Those are the types of things that will make your marriage stand up to all types of weather.

So, Calley & Will continued, while family and friends were rained on a bit, they committed to each other regardless of what life brought their way.  They said I do. They kissed. And we were all witnesses.  (With a few raindrops to prove it.)

Just when I thought I could not love them any more, Will stepped up to the mic and sang “Forever and Ever Amen”.  Will’s vocal talents are…. how can I put this… uh… less stellar than his triathlon skills.  :)  It was totally out of a movie.  So so great.  Calley could not stop laughing and everyone else enjoyed it quite a bit as well.

Thank you two for trusting me with your day.  Thank you for not letting a bit of rain dampen your spirits.  (Get it. Ha Ha)

I hope you two have many many years and miles of marriage together.