Today I want to talk about a topic that you may not realize is bothering you. Photo retouching. Most of you either have no idea what this is, or think it’s something that does not affect you. The reality is, it may be something you think about everyday and don’t realize. Photo retouching is something that is done to images to alter the subject. Typically, when done to women, it’s used to make them appear more attractive/skinny/sexy. This is all well and good, but the problem is that you start comparing yourself to people who are not “real”. I mean sure, there is a real live Faith Hill, but the magazine cover is not really what she looks like.

EVERY magazine cover is re-touched. Sometimes it’s minor, and barely noticeable. Sometimes we just wanna “tweak” people’s skin tones a bit. :)

Other times it’s so drastic people start to ask questions. This recent cover of W magazine led people to ask whether they had just put 47 year old Demi Moore’s head on a 20-something year old models’ body.

A recent Ralph Lauren add caused so much controversy that they had to issue a public apology. I mean seriously, look at this woman. The left is a shot of her on the runway. The right is a shot of her apparently sawed in half to fit in the jeans. :)

My point is not that re-touching is the evil of all evils. I tweak my images, I adjust color and light. I get it. Digital photography has made this super super easy. My point is that as a woman/bride you should not compare yourselves to the images you see on the covers when you are checking out at the grocery store. Again, these are not “real” people. Dove even did a commercial about this.

You will always be able to find someone skinnier than you.

Someone will always have better abs.

Cosmopolitan will always make you feel less than perfect. (That is how they sell magazines.)

One of the reasons many celebrities can’t seem to stay married is because being attractive has almost NOTHING to do with staying married. Brides, you have been chosen. Your fiance’ is committing to spend the rest of his life with you. Not with your stomach, your breasts, or your legs. He is choosing you.

Your heart.

Your laugh.

Your mind.

Your kindness.

These are the things that have attracted him to you. I’m sure he loves to look at you and you love to look at him.  But the reality is, it works the same for you. I know you love his dimples, his hair, his tan. But what attracts you to him is who he is.

I love Danielle more today than I ever did. Not because she weighs less, not because she went and got some lipo, and not because she got rid of that last bit of cottage cheese. The reason I love her more is because I KNOW her more. I understand her more, and she understands me. We have spent time learning each other. These are the things that a marriage is built on. These are the things that keep couples together.

I’ll say it again. Someone has chosen you. The next time you are checking out and see a Cosmo and think “I should do more crunches”, just remember “I have been chosen.” Then buy a candy bar and celebrate. :)